Category: Life experiences

Have A Word With The Man At The Counter.

An elderly man in his mid-eighties arrived happily to his younger friends house. His friend who has been expecting him was quite surprised when he saw how excited he looked on his arrival. He hugged him and went off to make him a cup of tea because the weather was chilly.

‘I have been worried about you and how fast you were going to make it?’ He told him, fully cognizant of the fact that his friend can be somewhat forgetful, at times. Besides, he had a meeting to attend in the next few hours so, it was nice he made it on time too.

The elderly man smiled. ‘You are not going to believe what happened. ‘I entered the train without a travel ticket and was lucky there were no checks, I passed unnoticed.’

‘Oh! You did?’ His friend almost screamed covering his mouth…they both laughed. Now, he knows why his friend is kind of overexcited since he outsmarted some folks out there. They haven’t seen each other in a very long time and only talk on the phone though they chatted like the phone talks never existed. Later on, it was time for him to leave for the meeting in order to make it on time. However, he wanted to make sure his friend at least, pays for his ticket this time.

On getting to the station, the queue was so long and the ticket fees were saying different things ranging form £20- £500. Obviously, he didn’t have that much time to wait for him but to leave as soon as he can.

How much are you going to pay, he asked him. ‘Don’t worry, am not looking at any of that- referring to the the fares. I will speak with the Man at the counter, when it gets to my turn, ‘ the old man replied. His friend patted him on the back and left though he was worried about him.

Later in the night, he got a phone call from his friend telling him how wonderful his trip turned out to be. He said that after having a word with the man at the counter, he was able to arrange a £20 ticket for him; which was a first class and he was served a bottle of champagne. In addition, when he got to his destination, one of the staff followed him and called a taxi for him as well. What more can he ask for! He was all smiles as he narrated it all it his friend.

They both laughed and he was pleased to know his friend was happy and safe at last.

I guess it is always good to speak with the Man at the counter irrespective of the expected outcome or what the World tells us. 

Anyone can be favoured, with God there is no favourite.

You can Do A Lot ‘On-Your -Own’ Through Him Who Gives You Strength.

There are times that people who we know quite well seem to do things that tends to put us on the edge and all of a sudden we begin to question a whole lot of things.

It is okay to keep reminding ourselves that no one is perfect not minding the fact that we are still able to find that one person whom we simply choose over others.

While I was chatting with a friend the other day, she sounded really worried and said a couple of things about her partner. She has a plan of how things can be made better and not that he is not willing to accept her idea but it seems not to be very convenient for him now. She complained bitterly. I tried to reason with her but I still made her see reasons with the guy too.

 ‘You can see he is busy with some other things now, at the meantime let him be.  It is not like he is rejecting your idea.’

Why are you this disturbed? I asked because she was furious and that got me worried about them both. Well, we had a nice chat and she was calm and felt better afterwards.

It would be nice of us if we continually evoke that initial passion we had before embarking on anything because it does not only motivates us but also keeps us on our toes as well. When you know that deep down you love someone, don’t cross yourself. Yes, be reasonable but that does not mean that it is going to be very rosy at all times. Love, they say endures all things that is why some people will seem to hurt you severally and you find yourself forgiving them, even before they apologize whereas same acts will be totally not tolerated with other people.

Try and develop a positive way of seeing people and things they do. It really helps and encourages a healthy lifestyle. Bearing a grudge is very bad because no matter how you mask it, it still finds its way and reflects in ones character. You might think that you are doing well and not showing whatever it was but people close to you can tell you act a bit different.

I would encourage discussing it, expressing exactly how you feel in the words that make you feelings or concerns well expressed. You have the right to be angry. There is no formulae in these things, think responsibly and do things your way. When you think the low-and-understanding voice is not working you can try out the high-angry voice, what matters is that at the end of the day you still go back to the normal.

Look at it this way, if you cannot have a quality chat with that very person whats the point going to talk all that through with another. You know them well and should be able to figure out when it is suitable to engage them in such conversations. Off course, you cant just initiate talk you tag ‘serious’ anytime and hope to get a useful response.

Always go for what is suitable for you. For instance, some people might like to chat after dinner time while some early in the morning. You don’t go and wake someone up at midnight because you were told or have read somewhere that midnight talk is the ultimate. Maybe, it was for the writer or for most people they carried out research on at that time but the truth is ‘we are all unique creatures’ some generalised findings cannot be applicable to all at same time. Don’t forget that some people don’t even sleep before that time while some about few minutes before 12, so are you going to wake them up? It’s either they babble first then talk, or later you get a warning for such sleep disturbance. Dozing while talk is going on can equally be achieved with that. I hope I was able make my point clear enough.

When something goes wrong and you still want to be with that person and they also want you, try to let them know how you feel. That’s your life and you make decisions based on what you think you two have been through or what you feel for them. However, when you simply go and offload the ‘problem’ to someone you might get a contradictory advice. Some individuals can probe and dig out some past and unresolved problems and put life into them. Believe me, it happens while others would help you deal with it in a better and reasonable way. Both categories of people do exist, beware of the former except you have loaded your gun and only need help with the trigger.

You can simply try asking yourself questions like, why is this that, why is that this, if I do this…that happens,  if I do that…what could happen? You can make a chart for them if need be.  You never can tell, it might help you solve certain issues and minimise times spent in consulting others. Besides, some times people tell us things we already know, though it is not usually the case. Always try your best and leave the rest.

When you learn to see good in people, things can only get better and better but when you do the opposite, even the tiniest fault that can easily be ignored by others will be magnified ten-folds before you.

NB
I actually struggled to write this without mentioning God a couple of times. Always put Him first in all you do.

True Love

Seeing is believing. 

She was very pleased with him and want to be his for the rest of her life. He loves her as well and didn’t in any way hide his feelings for her. Well, who wouldn’t? After nearly 10years of friendship and relationship.

A lot have been done to ensure that they spend the rest of their lives together. They have been very close and well known to each others relatives. With luck on their sides, both families consented to their union and can’t wait for them to cement their relationship. 
As usual, they went for blood test as required by their Rev. It happened to be that the lady’s HIV result was positive but it was not revealed to her out rightly.The counsellor called the Rev. who is also a good friend of the man and revealed to him the outcome of the tests. 
They all got worried and questioned what could be the fate of these two long time lovers. To add sugar to the injury, the lady was 2months pregnant for him. 
The young man was summoned to the hospital with a panel waiting for him. The counselling protocol was observed before and after the news was broken to him. To their disbelief, he said they do not know what they were saying and that come what may he is going to marry his bride to be as scheduled. 
The lady was sent to different places to redo the rest and confirmatory test as well before she was actually made to understand that she is a carrier while the husband isn’t. She couldn’t believe her situation and cried like her world has fallen apart. 
‘Have you told my husband to be?’ She asked. The counselor nodded. She screamed. Raising her hands to her head. ‘How can it be? Darkness have caught up with me in the broad daytime!’
‘What did he say? My heartthrob has abandoned me!’ 
‘He said he is still by your side and that he is going to go ahead with the marriage.’
In confusion, the lady said, ‘…and you think he means all of that… My God where are you?… I have not slept with any other man … I have been doing like I ought to… Where exactly have I gone wrong? Tell me… ‘
Elsewhere, people have been talking to the young man to enable him understand his situation and the implications of what he is about to do. After so much talks from Tom, Dick and Harry, he made them understand that if marrying her woman in the next few days means having HIV, he is willing to get that and that they are going to die happily. 
Most people were actually shocked to hear him say that. He went further to say that he has known her for a long time, have seen various versions of women and none could be equated to her girl. She is simply the only one meant for her and nothing will change that.  
The lady continue to ask herself if she was in dream and how long she going to last in it. He took her to the Rev. and to his relatives as well. To her greatest surprise, he has actually brought her so that can help him reassure her that he knows what he is saying and doing and means every bit of it. He could not come up with any other way of convincing her since she hardly chats other than crying the hell out of her life all the time. 
To the dismay of some relatives and friends, he married the woman of his dreams. Happily wedded in church. 
My thoughts
Some guys for-some-reasons-best-known-to-them would have simply danced to the tune of the songs people sang to their ears lately and abandon their HIV- infected and pregnant Girlfriend not knowing that there could be a possibility that they are equally infected but he could be in his window period.
Not that it is a very wonderful thing getting married to One who has the infection but based on the aforementioned circumstances it is not a bad idea. 
In my opinion, that guy is a hero because many people out there simply take pride in finding faults where there is none let alone when such a huge issue arises. 
Whatever you do, make sure it is for a good Cause, do it for love and for God. 
What will be will be. 

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Ladies And Gents: What Do You Have To Say?

The other I had a conversation which I found surprising very interesting with an elderly in his late sixties or thereabouts. Never mind, I am not so good in guessing age right but at least you can imagine what he looks like.

Anyway, he is a relative as well but that type that the family tie seems to be so elongated. Yes that type. We discussed varied ranges of topics and I was overwhelmed by how he seem to have a more intense view of almost everything. Old age indeed comes with wisdom. There were certain topics we seem to have strong different views on and on my own little part I would want to let him know my opinions and justify them as well while in some I simply suck in to his ideas.
However, when we got to marriage and polygamy in our modern society, it became a-no-win-no-loss game. I was of the opinion should be between a man and a wife no matter what the circumstances are. My biblical backups and the rest of them were not far fetched. And being something I so much believe in I was saying as much as I could to solidify my views.
He said he knows all those things am rattling and many more I was going to say. Hehehe! 
Listen attentively to what I am going to tell you, he said. 
I adjusted my sitting position and leaned forward. It was obvious that its going to be a long talk. He started by telling me a story about how their grandparents lived and how things happened those olden days. In his terms ” good olden days”.  He said marriage was highly rated and very scared especially amongst women, that they all try as much as they could to make their marriages the best.
He mentioned that polygamy made women to be very competitive in their marital homes as they always thrive to furnish their husbands with the best dishes. He actually made me understand that these women do have a particular day to feed and sleep with their husbands and usually makes the best of it. 
All these make the family to be in harmony and the man feels loved by all his wives and treats them according.he discussed this bit very well explaining how those women seek the attention of their husband. There was so much passion in his voice like he was actually there or would have preferred to live in that generation.
 
To him, marriages between man and one woman cause more problems and high rates of divorce which was not the case in the days of our forefathers. It only makes women feel empowered which they usually abuse and consequently treat their husband with a much less respect and it is not meant to be so. Children were taught how to respect their  elders, house chores and how to become good members of the society right from home. He made it sound like polygamous family are the best for acquisition of all kinds of informal education. 
He equally added that most couples in nowadays marriages are unhappy. 
Haven’t I heard enough? In as much as I know what I believe in and would stand by it, there were certain things that he said that really caught my attention and also made sense. Interesting how an idea  can be perceived in absolute contrasting ways. 
Well, am glad to have come in this present time. Can I know your views please?

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Close Your Windows While Out

Last week, as I arrived at the Church about 15minutes before 12noon mass time, I met a group of people discussing what has happened few hours ago. A friend said to me, ‘Vivien can imagine that Fr was robbed during the 10am mass?’

I was surprised to hear that. To think of it,  I do hear of such acts in distant countries or other places but for it to happen in my own church sent me chills.  They said that the burglar made away with his laptop, phone, money and other things.

 A volunteer who usually sits close to the entrance door to help people out said that during communion time she saw a very strange face coming out from the other side of the building ( the section that leads to the basement and to the Priests flat ) with black bags in his two hands and made his way to the exit. She regretted not stopping or at least querying him. Other people were equally drawn into the discussion as they all were much concerned for the poor Priest.

Nevertheless, we all had to stop to attend to what we came for. The sermon was so lovely. One of his stories was about Doves. He told us about the absolute fidelity of Doves and how they end-up mating a single male partner throughout their lifetime. I found that really interesting. In fact, doves are my favorite birds for other genuine reasons and now I have a beautiful addition to that.

During announcement, he then told us how his apartment was ransacked by a burglar whom he said must have gained entrance through his open window. At this point, he stopped and advised against leaving our windows open when we are out. He mentioned some items that were stolen but what seem to trouble him so much was his laptop and backup. According to him, he has lost his 35years work. Amongst them were lots of vital information; in regards to his school years, Priest works, personal reflections, all his pictures and so on.

As usual, he had to stand for a while to say hello to parishioners after church, it was then that he said that while he was exchanging greetings with people after the 10am mass he saw someone standing in the front of his door with bags but it did not occur to him that he could do anything at that time. He could simply tell that there was something fishy about that person whom he said was not any of his parishioners.

To think that someone would deem invading a Priest’s apartment while he is in the Church preaching and within the same building is highly unbelievable.

Where is our conscience?


Laugh it off

I sat in the bus so tired when one of the passengers; a man who simply do not feel like sitting down could not just stop drawing attention to himself.

At first, he rattled a whole lot of words and I could not just hear a single thing he said though I cannot tell if I was the only one that was not able to understand him. He was shouting and no one bothered to stop him. He went on before he broke into a laughing session. It did not really appear funny but as he went on and changed his rhythm he began to make many people laugh and I smiled where I sat.

‘Can’t you all laugh or smile, at least’, he shouted. ‘It is not breaking the law and you ain’t gonna get charged for it.’ This time he said something I could hear clearly.

Another man sitting close to him began to chat with him and at a point asked him to sit down.

The weather is so hot. I can’t just sit down, was his response. ‘I am a spider man.’

It was then I noticed the way he crossed his shirt over his neck baring his chest. Its either he is simply high or something, unless the scorching sun actually brings the best-worst in him. He really made me laugh.
 
It was funny after all as he entertained us all. I guess he made some people laugh, probably those who might not have seen any reason to laugh lately.

Mistakes Could Mean Well.

See through them.

There are times we tend to question some of our actions, especially in those cases where things went terribly wrong in the  past. We begin to worry and blame ourselves, analysing an already gone situation.

We start to think about how best things would have been, if we had done either this or that. 
It usually feels so easy to sit and criticize all our previous acts. But, what we rarely remember was how that particular course of action was the only thing or idea that meant so much to us at that given time. And how we were desperate to get them done. 
Whenever we noticed we have made a mistake or did not succeed in a thing, it is important that we should only see it as a lesson and move on. The reason is because at a certain time it made sense to us and it now belongs to the past.
At least, it shows that we made an effort. Besides, mistakes can help us find that very answer or skill that we require. Our ability to strive and rectify a given situation is what matters the most. 
In addition, there are certain challenges that we only handle best when we must have seen the other side of it. 

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Life Struggles

Remain Positive.

As humans, most times we only desire to get things right.
We try out all we can
Hoping that we must get it right.

At times, it turns us to be so.
We become fulfilled
And see things as being oversimplified.  

But, it is not usually the case.
There are times our handwork do not pay.
What matters is that we do not relent.

It could be that so much is expected from us,
It could result from any eventuality,
It could be down to fate.

It is of our best interest to always be willing to try
And do not give up
Because, once there is life there is hope.

It is well.

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My Oxford Trip.

Actually, it was on a Church pilgrimage. When I first heard the announcement I thought of it as going to  be an interesting one, so I took the news letter home to read more of it.

Then, I got myself ready for the day.

On getting to the Church, an almost new Bharat Coach was there with few people, some where inside while some hanging around.  When I got inside I saw few bags on the seats and asked the female driver if I can leave mine too and she agreed. She said our things were safe being that she is not leaving the vehicle.

So, I chose  a section near the window and dropped my handbag. Being that we were told that the day would start with mass which was optional, I decided to attend the mass as well. Church time was 9am while departure time  was 9.30am.

Our day began with mass and towards the end lots of people seem to be around. On getting to the outside,  there was such a huge crowd, youths, parents and their kids, even the elderly too. I was wondering what prompted this sort of crowd and a handful of strange faces before I was then made to understand that we are about three Churches; St Thomas More Catholic Church( my parish), St. John’s Anglican and a Methodist church. Interesting!

Within few minutes, another Coach arrived from either of the other two churches carrying few persons and with enough space there, we all sat comfortably in our seats. There were few empty seats remaining anyway.

I went to check my bag and decided that I might as well remain there till we leave. Our priest briefly told us that he has been very stressed lately and still have a tight schedule and would not be going with us. However, we went in the company of an Anglican Priest and our Nuns, Mother Eugenia and her two other colleagues.

The priest briefly told us how our trip would look like by listing the events of the day and saying a brief prayer with us. He did same for the other bus and we started hitting the roads. A woman sitting in front of me and a family at my back were from St John.  By my side was a family from my parish.

We had little chats as we drove ,especially, with the woman sitting before me. She has a camera with her and seem to be very excited about the trip and was delighted she was going to Oxford city.

She was snapping basically everything, the lovely views we had from the window, be it birds picking food or grazing animals, even plants and the rest of them. At a point I joined  her, capturing the ones I love the most. They were all lovely.

 

 so green.

On one occasion, it was as if our Couch almost hit a car, we got tensed and only found out that it was not our driver’s fault rather that of the driver before us. In addition to that, it happened on a hilly road. Some  people were like she ought to be careful no mater what. We kept going and it happened again but this time, I saw it. It was a driver whom I can simply tell what was wrong with him, he kept changing lanes on the highway.

Now, most of us were on the watch-out, our driver made sure that very car does not cross us again. Whenever we noticed that that car is coming close we would all shout ‘it’s coming again , don’t let him come before us’. The small car driver noticed what we were doing and started laughing with his passenger.
It turned out to be fun.  No one blamed our driver again and we were all vigilant till we went our separate ways.

In Oxford, we first visited St. Mary’s (University Church). It is a magnificent church with many historical displays. We were told that it was initially built by Catholics but now belongs to the Church of England.

 
Upstairs

We gathered and said prayers for the unity of Christians and at the memorial to the Reformation Martyrs. I was pleased on how we all came together as one and prayed for the good of another. We  had to look around the entire vicinity.

What I loved most was the paintings and decorations in this church. All images looks beautiful and archaic as if they are going to last forever.

Next, it was time for a tour to Merton College. This was done in batches being that they do not like overcrowding as they seem to have so much rules there. I was among the second batch and had enough time to look around until it got my turn.

Luckily, I enjoyed the company of elderly women who could not stop amusing me. They were both from my church so we got on well. With their new friends I was really entertained. The eldest one would go to another table to chat while the other one would be monitoring her. At a time she said to me ‘If I go out now for a minute to get something she would tell everyone that I had abandoned her’. I was laughing all through.

The eldest one later returned with a muffin in her hand. She showed her colleague and said ‘look at what my new friend gave to me’. Her response was ‘ Don’t tell me you left your tea and toast to go and beg for muffin?
‘I didn’t beg she just gave it to me and I collected. I can’t see anything wrong with that.’  She turned towards me and enjoyed her muffin like it was a special delicacy compared to what we have on the table.

Hahahaha!

We were supposed to go for the tour together but she said the walk would be too much for her which meant that none of them would be going again. I admired the way they look out for each other.

Eventually, it was our turn and the Priest took us down to the college. On arrival a Priest welcomed us and handed over a leaflet to us. He told us some brief history about Oxford University with preference to the college we visited.

He said Merton College was founded in the year 1264 by Walter de Merton, who had passion for education and believed that student should study, live, play and pray together. This was how they built the college and a huge chapel was equally erected where student say their prayers.

 

Merton college

 

Someone is in the compound.

In the Chapel were historical icons. According to the priest the image below is that of Henry Savile who translated Luke and Acts of the Apostles in the Kings James Version bible.

Henry Savile

On the outside, we were shown the library, which was said to be the oldest functional library in the Western world. In the sense that, other old libraries exist but are rather moved to other places. It is the home of Oxford dictionary. Also, books cannot be taken out.Thomas Bodley was one of the great scholars that passed through Merton college. He was buried in the Chapel.

I was made to understand that the University is for the Brainy and the Rich .  The time we went was their exam period and we saw  their students with their various dress and colour codes for exams. It was really interesting. this implies that by the colour of the ribbons on their shirts one could tell their levels.

We were told that those that have shiny hats and garlands with bottles of wine has just completed their final exams.

I took no pictures of the students but the woman that sat before me in the Couch stopped some of them and took some pictures.

It was now time to ransack Oxford City. This time, I was with a much younger woman. We had lunch and  began with window shopping which enabled us see a whole lot things before picking some. She seem to know much about the area. Funny enough most shops were very expensive with some awful dresses.

In the evening, it was the time for evensong at Christ Church Cathedral, the choir sang angelically. They sang Abide with me and other songs.

Finally, we made our way to the Coach,  checked that we are all complete and headed back to London.  It was a smooth drive and people were discussing various places they went to. We all had unique and fun experiences.

Forgive and Let go.

In life, it is very essential that we willingly forgive our fellow men, no matter what they do to us. This is very important because nobody is perfect and can overtly boast of not erring. Indeed, it sounds like a task that could be impossible to achieve but with the true definition of Christianity at heart, it is actually achievable and of considerable benefit to those that indulge in it. In addition, our lives seem to be a model for other people as it reflects the Christ-like image divinely bestowed upon us all.

Although, it is a unique and selfless way of living, it is an exceedingly tedious and demanding dutiful life.It transforms our reasoning but does not affect our relationship with one another. To most people, you act in a manner they cannot comprehend and wonder why you think that is a good way of life but you alone know your inner drives and happiness.

I was in a middle of a conversation with an elderly Woman the other day and she made me understood the concept of forgiveness the more. Being a staunch Catholic, she thought she was living the ideal christian life and practising her faith. She usually says the Lord’s Prayer and chants it till a problem she never imagined befell her family and all they have lived for, made her meet a powerful Priest that made her read meaning into each line of Our Lord’s Prayer. For the first time in her entire life, she realized she isn’t that worthy of saying such prayer;a mere prayer she easily rattles within the twinkle of an eye.

She kept living like that for a while but couldn’t understand her life anymore and knew she needed to let go of all that have wronged her in one way or the other. Not that she does not talk to some of them, she does for talking sake but in her heart she is not at peace with them.

She narrated many ugly encounters she had had with people and how life can be cruel,sometimes. It was a touching story but I at least understood her for who she was. At a point, she broke down. There was so much betrayal from trusted friends,deceits and all sorts of malicious acts.

She lacked words to express the way she felt the very day she truly let go of her past and in her heart of heart forgave all that have wronged her.

Surprisingly to her, it reflected on the way she currently communicates with them, in cases of those she has been able to meet. She felt lighter than ever, as though a heavy burden was lifted off her chest.

Personally, I think it would have been better if most times we sincerely forgive and forget. I can recall hearing it often when I was younger and even said it a couple of times but now, I doubt whether it is feasible or maybe one of those instances of ‘easier said than done‘.

Well, I guess there are issues that find their way off our memory while some depending on how probing we found them never leave us no matter how hard we try.

All in all, it is of our best interest and duty to forgive others just as we would want our Creator and fellow humans to treat us.