Category: Life experiences

Mother’s Love.

Hi friends, it has been a while. When I want to type, the creativity vanishes and I will say to myself  – its okay I will write later. You know the rest of the story when procrastination spirit sets in. More so, with busy work schedules, that did not help at all. I did miss writing so much.

I was travelling the other day while trying to rest my tired brain, with my eyes closed, I was drawn into the conversation of two women sitting adjacent to where I sat. They seem to be in their early fifties or thereabout. I will call them ‘Sara and Tara’.

Sara was telling Tara how her sick Mum who was actually a wheelchair bound turned around to be the one looking after her while she was ill.

‘Mum would wake up in the morning, come to see how am doing and bring prepared food for me. I have never seen my mother that active in the last three years. I usually go over every morning to help her with washing, cooking and tidying the house.’

Sara continued, ‘it is unbelievable what you see happening around you sometimes. At first, I felt so weak and unhappy because I was ill and very dependent on my husband and son. However, my mum being very supportive and somewhat independent thrills me. I cannot begin to explain to you how I feel Tara. I believe God in all situations.’

Tara sounded pleased with the story too.

Anyway, I began to do my own reflection and had some good thoughts to analyse too.
Sometimes, it can be amazing how what seems like a hopeless situation to us turns out to be a turning point.

P.S: Have a great weekend and a beautiful November in advance.

Keeping A Positive Attitude While Waiting

I ran into an old friend the other day in a function. In my opinion, she was and still the type of person I would describe as a nice and kindhearted woman. She was gloomy and her mind seemed preoccupied with some personal issues. I kind of observed her for some time and later asked if she was alright.
She shook her head. I gently said to her, “whatever it is, can you at least keep your head straight?” She looked at me,”Vivien you will not understand”, she said to me.In my mind, it is not that I do not want to know what was bothering a friend but I found it to be in appropriate as we were in the midst of people and I did not want her to go ahead and voice her feelings out loud.
Photo credit:Google profile pic
So, when she began to tell me how things were so were so rough for her I simply held her hand and lead her out of the room. Moments later, we were went to a more private section in the building where she poured her heart out to me. The story range from family issues, pressure at work place, wanting to get a better job but for some personal reasons not able initiate the step at the time, to name a few.
For me, the family one was the most important because so many things can go wrong and at any time but you still have to go home everyday and home should at least be a peaceful place you look forward to.  At home, she has issues with her partner; who would not like to help out with child care,  up-keeping  of the the house and above all still expects so much from her.
Did I forget to mention that the pair are blessed with two lovely kids? Yes they are that lucky.

She went on and on. I   inquired from her how long she has been able to put up with all of that, how she has tried handling them and whether a family  member  or a close friend has meddled. Then, she told me how numerous interventions, how some lasted for inly a day and the rest were rather fruitless. Enough heard in regards to the family squabbles already, so I gave some piece of advice and tried to let her  understand  how she can repeat certain things she had already  tried out but with a more different approach.Some greater piece of my advice I am not going to disclose here.

As per the workplace problem, I tried to reason with her in the sense that when you are working, you spend a great deal of your time at work. More so, when we find it that challenging and dislike it.Then it becomes a problem and our emotions and other essential aspects of our lives suffers. To worsen it all, she felt that she stuck in her current job and cannot tell how soon she is likely to get a different job.We explored her circumstances,weighed her options and I made her understand that she has options. “You can achieve this and many more, all you need to do is to set your priority, make out time, be focused and in due time;sooner than you can imagine you will live your dream”, those were my words to her. 

Most importantly, I repeatedly told her to be prayerful.By maintaining close communication with God through prayers you are not alone.I encouraged her to try and be strong for herself and if she can, wear a face that tends to imply that she has  everything under control.Besides, there are a lot of things one can still be grateful for in any given situation. I can tell that by the time we have talked this far that her mood had already enlightened. She was pleased with the conversation. 
Mmm… we were still in a function remember? So, we walked back into the room and joined others. I can tell I missed a bit on the agenda of the function but I was fulfilled to have spent a reasonable time with a friend. 

Happy People

Photo credit: emdoodle.com
I saw this pretty petite lady dancing
throwing her hands freely into the air
in a not sunny nor cold but dull weather
some distances away from the bus stop in a busy area.
She was all smiles and looked completely happy. 
Clothed in a flowered colourful shirt, long spotted skirt and trainers
I suppose she wouldn’t notice the staring faces of passersby. 
She continued smiling and perhaps was worried about nothing.
Amazingly, there ought to be food and shelter
Some where for her.
If she can be that happy then why cant you?
If the very lady I just told you about
can be that pleased with herself and jubilate,
then, I would like to believe there are some many things you can be thankful for.
Stop being sober, be happy and worry less.
 
P. S. Thanks friends for making out time to read some of my posts. May your year be fulfilled.

Happy Man

Met a lovely and humorous elderly man.

Photo credit: flickr.com

He made jokes and I laughed

I enjoyed watching him as he chatted with the kids who were playing

Then a bus gradually approached

A lady came by and I realised they were together

‘He is nice and lovely with kids’ I said to the lady

‘He has no family…’ she replied in soft tone

Little do I know he had no family
How cruel life can be sometimes

To a man who seem to be full of life

Laughing on the top of his voice and playing with the kids

Ring on the last finger.

I went to get some chicken from a poultry shop and succeeded in having a nice chat with the sales personnel. At first, it was hard work for me to locate the shop because I was looking for a fresh or possibly live one, it was my first time there after about 6 years ago; I was there with someone. 
On sighting the building and it’s unique yellow painting and drawings, I suddenly knew it was the particular shop I had in mind, after been to couple of other shops and asking after this very shop. 
On reaching there, there were varieties of chicken  I could choose from. The guy helped me made a good choice and admired the ring I had on my finger. We got chatting and he asked for the significances or my cultural interpretations of wearing rings on different fingers. ‘The index finger is for singles or students, third is for engaged people, fourth is the marriage one while the last one is for widow/widower. As for the thumb, I am not so sure what it stands for, maybe for native doctors’, those were my honest answers. We both laughed, especially in regards to the last bit of my explanation.

Photo credit: weheartit.com
It was then that I asked him to tell me why he had a band-less ring on his last finger and I made interesting discoveries. He said that in Morocco where he hails from, parents usually give a ring of luck to their children; to guard them, when they want to leave for a foreign land and in his case it was his mother who gave him the ring.
I was pleased to hear that, in a way that it melted my heart. I actually felt home sick although am not from Morocco. In reality, it got me thinking about the attachment of people to where they originated from and how they so much cherish it , irrespective of how they fare where they found themselves.

At the end I said to him, ‘I hope the ring continues to bring you luck’. I suppose he enjoyed the chat too.  I was going to ask him more about his Country but then I was only there to get some meat, so, the meats were neatly cut and packed and off I go.

P.S  We will like to know if you have a special meaning for wearing a ring on a particular finger or at least, your cultural perception of  it. Thanks in advance.

Fostering Good Behaviour Among Kids
‘I don’t know what you are saying’, the child replied and looked away. She asked him again ‘do you want to become a Priest? ‘I don’t know what that means.’Oh! Sorry, I mean, do you want to become a Rev Fr? Before then the child’s uncle who was standing right beside smiled and said ‘he wants to be an Engineer. 
No….the little boy then replied. Priest means same as Rev Fr, the woman corrected the child who in a striking manner said ‘ but you didn’t say Priest, you said Appraised. They argued while I watched from behind. At the end, the woman told him not to tell people especially, adults they did not say a thing particularly when the words sound very similar. She went further to tell him that it shows lack of respect though she was still able to give him a pat and let him go and play.
Meanwhile, the child’s uncle was all smiles as if he was showing off a smart genius nephew, I guess he is, though he went off and didn’t get to observe the last attitude teaching session. At the other end, the woman was generally talking about how nowadays kids talk to adult. Obviously, she was surprised about the way the boy insisted that she didn’t say Priest. Besides, it was quiet loud because I heard it, maybe the little boy is a grammarian in the making. Who knows? 
It made me recall an incident that occurred in a friends house when I visited last week. The lady had previously warned her kids not to play around the kitchen being that she was making lots of dishes and wouldn’t want any form of accident. Who wouldn’t do same? 
So, the girl was chased by the brother she ran into the kitchen and it happened to be same time her mum was dishing out some foods, turning around, she almost slipped. In an automatic manner, she spanked her girl on the back. I was a bit surprised because she didn’t fall, the dishes were intact and that was a loud spanking. 
I turned to the little girl who then simply went and stood at the doorway, she didn’t look like she was going to burst into tears like I expected rather in the next couple of minutes she went off and continued playing but didn’t come near the kitchen again. 
‘I thought 21st century parents don’t smack kids,’ I asked. ‘Oh! Not me, I do, when need be. They should know you are their parent and not their friend. They need to he disciplined, or else by the time they  get to their teens you can hardly talk to them let alone correcting them,’ was her response.
Disciplining kids is very important as it lays a good foundation for them to build on later on in life. I am a huge fan of good attitude. I think the ladies did well as long as the goal is to inculcate good attitude into children for a better and a greater future generation. 

No Good Friendship Without Love

Good friends are hard to find but when you count yourself lucky to have at least one of them, do keep them. Sometimes, we might not be continually in contact with them but the fact remains that whenever we do, it feels so evergreen. It creates a sound state of mind as people understand and take you for who you truly are, without much questions or concerns for gossip.

Love is such a beautiful thing that we cannot talk about friendship or companionship of any sort without making reference to it. It drives us to do things willingly for the welfare and happiness of others. No wonder the bible has so much teachings in regards to love.

Drawing strength from the story of St Valentine, especially during his days in the prison and the friendship he had at that time. The story mentioned he had lots of visitors and many threw flowers into his cell window but amongst them were noted the daughter of the prisons guard, who visited him more often and helped him to keep his spirits up.

Unfortunately, we seem to live in a time where for some reasons most people are not genuine in their dealings with people, it is either they are with you for some benefits or they simply can’t be honest with you, yet they still want to be close and fit into the friend category.

Despite all these, I still believe there are some nice people out there and I  hope you are able to find that person that can be your friend even when the whole world thinks you are so wrong and deserved to be alone. We all need someone to help keep us going particularly in hard times, when we are all by ourselves and would do with some companionship. For some people, they simply decide to be disconnected with the world but that doesn’t mean that when eventually reached they would back out, instead they will forever remain grateful you did. Besides, those are the times to prove we truly care for someone because when we are doing so well and bubbling there are friends of all calibre in all nook and cranny.

As other remarkable days are celebrated so is today being celebrated. So show some love to someone, appreciate those that have made your live colourful in any way. Obviously, couples and lovers celebrate this day but it is not only meant for them. Ignore the fact that these days many ideas are overrated, you can mark Valentines day with family, an old friend, a colleague;anyone that thinks well of you.

 P.S. Happy St Valentine’s day Friends. May your hearts be filled with love of God and love of man. Cheers.

My Train Sisters.

I was in a train to London from Leigh on Sea. Actually, the train was meant to be showing the callings as we go but it kept showing the wrong thing; Westcliff instead of East Tilbury or Ockendon because we were heading towards Fenchurch street and not Shoeburyness.

The map

I noticed we just passed Stanford-le-Hope but it kept showing same thing. To ease any form of doubt already building up, I went to view the map closely and then simply stood there. Was I the only one worried? Hell no!

Can you believe that? And no one apologized for the misleading info

I focused on the various stops I could see from the window as we passed and ignored the display board. One of the three teenage girls sitting on the other side asked me if our train was heading towards the right direction. ‘Yes, but it shows the wrong location’ was my response. The rest were like: they have been trying to figure out what was going on among themselves. The girls were much more disturbed because they said they were not familiar with the stops seen from the train.  I showed them it is from the route we were taking because they are two different routes to same the destination but ours has more stops whereas they are used to the one with fewer stops. They were glad we all got clarified at last.

I then went back and sat down. In case you were wondering what it was with me. Well, that was around 9.30pm and  I was so many miles away from home, after a very long day. I was exhausted and couldn’t afford to be in a wrong train, not even for a minute ride. I didn’t need any form of inconvenience because it was about 2 hours journey.

Anyway, one thing I enjoy about these national rails is that most times you have lots of empty seats and can be the only one in a coach unlike the London underground where people are usually packed like sardines.

Some minutes later, a couple came in and went over to sit where one of the girls sat earlier(before joining her friends sitting at other side). The lady simply asked if the bag on the seat were theirs, handed it over to them and sat down. That place was actually more comfortable being that it has a table and people could sit facing another. While the girls were chatting and laughing the lady interrupted them. She felt offended and was convinced they were discussing about her and her partner.

Her partner took over and started exchanging words with the girls. He was swearing a lot and they all ended up saying fucking… to each other.  I was disturbed and didn’t know who exactly to calm down. Their voices eventually came down but it was only for a minute before the lady said she heard something else. Oh dear! The guy was very angry now and stood up. I was signalling both parties to please stop before the lady dragged the guy to the other end of the coach. Thanks goodness!

My teenage friends started laughing boisterously and the other one went back to her former seat and placed her legs on the table. In their opinion, the couple have no right to talk to them. In fact, they did enjoyed the argument. In between watching them, I was drafting what you are reading now. They complained about the journey been much longer and unusual and I assured them again it was due to the route. I guess they just couldnt wait to get off the train. They later got off before me and we exchanged goodbyes like we all knew each other. It was more like saying bye to an elder sister.

Minutes later, I was in Westham. I changed into the London underground and stood for some minutes before I was able to get a seat.

P.S. Happy New Year! I am wishing you all a blissful 2014. Sending good tidings of happiness, love and peace to you. May all your dreams come through.

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The Woman and Lime

Last month, I had a kind of facial rash which I am yet to give a name. Maybe I would have to come up with a diagnosis for it soon. Initially, I thought it could be some of those pimples that do visit me when they want and leave without  traces when they are done hanging around. My guess was wrong because these I-dont -know-the-name-rashes actually did come to stay.

Over the week, they gradually built up and covered my forehead. I was worried about them and tried some anti-fungal and anti-inflammatory creams; Nixoderm, Skineal but none came to my rescue, although I didn’t use any of  them for a long time being that I needed something that could act very fast. Yeah, I needed my face intact as soon as possible.

On one occasion, I was in the bus and was thinking about trying out natural remedies than trying all these creams I didn’t find to be of much help to my case. I recalled lots of cases where I have seen or heard people said they used this or that on their faces and how effective it was for them. As I was about getting off the bus, a woman sitting before me dragged me back.

‘Do you know the green small lime?’ she asked.  ‘Lime? yes, I know lime’ I nodded at same time. ‘Use it on your face.’ I thanked her and left. Fortunately, I met her in the next couple of minutes at a bus stop, she then came closer and said to me that her daughter once had such bumps and lime was her redeemer. She was talking and demonstrating something which I didn’t understand clearly. As you can see it was that bad  which was the reason she called them ‘bumps’.

Limes

I was convinced I have gotten a remedy at last because earlier while I was in the former bus I contemplated using lime but wondered if it was going to be very toxic for my skin. But  now, my fears are been driven far away and it was more like a revelation. All I did was to browse for facts about it and I was in. I bought limes the same day.

Day two on lime therapy, am yet to see an effect and was going to panic again before my companion the previous day said I should scrub my face with it. The woman was demonstrating I should get the lime, cut into two halves and scrub my face with it. Oh! was that what she meant.I only heard lime and that was it for me, I used cotton wool to apply it on my face like I saw on the internet. Okay then, noted.

I followed the instruction the next time and my face could tell that lime really hurts. It does! I did it morning and night and a spotted a tremendous effect. In space of three days my face was good to go.

I learnt lots of facts about not breaking the facial skin by certain creams and hot water and how to use honey to wash it in order to nourish it. Honey makes the face feel so smooth, you just feel it. Lemon is very good too, its similar to lime but lime is stronger. I read a lot about the face now and am enjoying every bit of the natural remedies.

Let me tell you about my situation, the rashes I had were: a bit reddish, some spread out, some in clusters, had blunt pustules, sometimes itchy and hurts. At least, I knew it has gone past pimples. Hey! hope you are not thinking of any particular diagnosis for me right now? Well, my face is back now.

That Woman was a God-sent to me because I and lime are now buddies.

I would encourage anyone with some face rashes that seem not to be responding to creams to try LIME. It is very effective and acts quickly too.

P.S. I was meant to write this earlier before now to ensure there will be lots of smooth and pretty faces this festive period. Pardon me for that. Nevertheless, we all need good looks at all times.

Seasons greetings!

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What’s going on?

Photo culled from the internet

I have actually seen lots of beggars and some homeless people but there was something about that woman I couldn’t just place. In fact, there is a particular man that do lie under the shades of trees and flowers on a corner in my area, although I have not seen him for sometime since winter arrived, I hope he has found a better place to lay his head at night.

So, it was a very cold day and I was rushing to a function but all of a sudden I was stopped by a woman; who at first was speaking a language I didn’t understand. I looked at her and she went on for about a minute or so before I was able to hear hunger and money. As she talked, the little child she was holding was busy playing and smiling.

Unfortunately, I had only few coins with me and handed them over to her and she mumbled words that sounded like she was thanking me or something close to that. Although my mind was occupied by other activities I couldn’t help but think about this woman and the small boy. 
I have seen lots of beggars but why it seems to be very rampant now is what I don’t understand, even in this unbearable weather. 
Later in the day, I discussed it with a colleague and he said some cultures simply like begging and can’t stay away from it. He added that some couple of years ago, some women carrying drugged children were seen on trains begging for money. That as a matter of fact, times have changed for good. No doubt he was right but I was of the opinion that when people look relatively fit it is better they find themselves a job;be it a menial one, as long as it brings them some quid rather than wandering the streets begging for money.
The rate at which beggars are seen on the streets of London now are very alarming. If you see one today, the next day it increases to three or more. Does it all boil down to hard economy?
What’s going on? 
Meanwhile, I recall a friend telling me the other day that when a haggard man begged her for money in an eatery she simply told him to choose something and she paid for him. That way she made sure he didn’t spend her money on purchasing some cigarettes or booze. At least, she provided him with a meal, which made a difference. 
Well, we should try in our own little ways to help people. That little could mean so much to them.