The happiness you seek from others can be found inside you.
Focus on yourself.
Pay attention to yourself.
Set realistic goals.
If it’s a long term project, plan and give it time.
Know what can be achieved in a short time.
Do not allow other people’s progress or stories distract you.
If they must affect you, let them motivate you.
You are unique.
Each person is to serve a purpose.
Are you doing your best?
What advice would you give to yourself?
At times, it is beneficial for one to spare time just to think about themselves.
It can be regarding lifestyle, relationship, work, passions or anything you deem important to you.
Desist from getting carried away by analysing peoples lifestyles, choices and their process.
Why they are this and should do XYZ.
Simply focus on your growth or development.
There ought to be something in you that you can take to another level or do differently.
Do not see others and say “God when” but you are not paying attention to yourself.
What plans do you have? What have you done so far?
You are your number one fan.
Love yourself.
Treat yourself right.
Endeavour to maximise all your God given talents.
Do not waste them.
Know what you can do at any given time and act on it.
Spare time and think about yourself.
You will spot the difference when you make it a habit.
It is YOU to the world 🧡
When I first got to this garden I was a bit scared as I couldn’t tell if something was hiding under the plants and flowers. However, within minutes I completely forgot about it as I was lost in thought.
Aim for the best version of yourself 🧡
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Earlier this year I purchased 5 books, one of them was “The Gentle Discipline Book.”
The Gentle Discipline Book: How to raise co-operative, polite and helpful children Book by Sarah Ockwell-Smith.
I like the fact that almost anything imaginable has been written.
In the course of trying to know how to communicate and raise kids better, I resolved to getting a copy of this book.
This book has made me aware of certain things I did not know when it has to do with dealing with kids.
For instance, it explored their psychology, their behaviours, their hierarchy of needs, what parent expect from kids that are not realistic and many other aspects.
You will be surprised to know that most things that worries you about your kids are quite common with kids generally.
Raising kids can be challenging but it good to know that we are alone.
I like to read or research stuffs, so I knew there is no way I will not read from experts regarding raising better kids and all that it entails.
Before I went for this book one of my major concern was communication with kids.
If there is a way of doing it by mere talking and both parties happy and satisfied at the end why not?
Why spank and stress if there are better options?
I am the type that can be strict sometimes but I want to get it right with kids.
I want to strick a balance and raise a reasonable, well behaved and not spoilt child.
Can I achieve it without engaging in a physical combat with a child?
This book has helped me a lot.
It is just one of those books you read and go back to for references.
Oh! I forgot to add I’m aware of “do not spare the rod and spoil the child.”
To be honest, most people use those lines to suit them.
So over to you now.
What book have you read lately?
Endeavour to read good books, not just gossips blogs or tweets. I mean try reading something long and engaging.
Reading is good for your brain and personal development ☺️
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Kids at some points in their life would touch certain parts of their body. Adults need to guide them and teach them about their body including their genitals. Freud’s psychosexual stages of development explains this.
This is a sensitive post please!!! It is a long post too. Please, grab a cup of your favourite drink and chill.
Are you aware that a child can freely touch any part of their body?
Are you are aware that kids are innocent?
So, why would they touch their head or hand or nose you do nothing BUT when they touch their genitals your spank them?
Ok. Let’s start properly. Some weeks ago I read a post in a group regarding a parent concerned about her 6yrs old behaviour.
It happened that she noticed that from age 2 and half her girl would touch her genital but she tends to do it often now and mainly when she is asleep. She had spanked her a lot and got tired of spanking and needed advice.
Most (98%) of the advice were: She is possessed It is evil spirit Send her to your pastor She needs to see man of God She needs to be circumcised She has an infection
I read those comments and was furious. Below was my response:
“Sorry to hear about this disturbing behaviour in your little one.
Let’s discuss this.
Children being aware of their genitals is not abnormal.
Touching herself is normal for her age.
However it is the consistency of the act that matters.
Kids explores a lot. For some, once they are aware, they will keep indulging till you talk them off it. It is a phase.
Instead of hitting her bum and telling her to stop, try having a chat with her.
Ask her why she does it?
How she feels?
Tell her why you want her to stop it.
If you haven’t had a chat with her regarding her private part, then this is the time too.
It is private. No one should touch it.
Please, kids exploring their private part is common.
It is part of their psychosocial development.
I will like you to read about Freud’s 5 stages of development.
It discusses this in details. Whilst the theory isn’t scientifically proven it gives you an idea of what goes on as a child develops.
There is nothing spiritually wrong with your child.
Do not touch or do anything to her clitoris.
Do make sure you monitor what she watches, simply to ensure she does not watch porn related contents.
Make sure no form of abuse is going on.
While washing pay attention.
Otherwise, this is a phase that you need to address.
The act is not the problem, it is the frequency or habit that you mentioned.
Talk to her.
This is not about beating.
She will definitely stop.
You can reach out to me.” . . Why I’m I making you aware of this?
I want you to treat kids as innocent creatures they are.
Do not judge them with adult dirty minds.
If they touch a part and feel pleasure or soothing why won’t they indulge in it?
Kids suck thumbs, suck tongues and more to self soothe.
As an adult, start as early as you can to teach kids about their genitals.
Engage them in conversation. Let them know it is a private part. They shouldn’t play with it and no one else should touch it.
Act just like you would to any habit you do not want them to get used to.
Keep practicing for as long as you can till they are grown enough to understand.
They learn quickly. Try it.
So long as you keep talking and explaining to them, they will listen to you.
You might end up begging them to open up during bath times because they are practicing what you taught them.
I was surprised to know the number of people giving the same advise.
Different people liked my comments. I then saw a few comments from people that had same views.
Please, put your phone and data to good use.
For health issues, seek health information on recognised health websites. Not just Google. Any body can post any thing online, it doesn’t mean they are right as the information is not from an expert.
If you live in advanced country, the health or information helpline and sites are there. What I normally advise anyone in the under developed/developing countries is to have a doctor or registered nurse ‘s contact.
Know when to reach out to them for health or kids related advice.
Just so you know, I am a critical care nurse. During the course of my training and till now, I have learnt a whole lot. I studied midwifery too, so I know about kids.
Please read the psychosexual stages of development by Freud. It will help you understand your kids better.
Before you spank a child, have you tried talking to them why you think they shouldn’t carrying out a specific act you dislike?
Please, do not intentionally or ignorantly harm a child you should be guiding.
Your role is to guide them, protect them and teach them.
Do not expose them to unnecessary torture or strangers in the name of deliverance.
Do not cause problems for them.
It is ok not to know much about kids BUT know the right people and places to seek help.
No doubt parenting can be hard. No one knew it all prior having kids. Simply be open to learn and understand these little creatures better.
They are innocent (sorry I want to stress this part).
Endeavour to guide them right.
Let’s say you are wondering, “Oh but my child never touched their private part…”
They all did and would do. Do you know why?
It is part of their psychosexual development. It is possible the times they had explored it only the person closer to them noticed.
So how close are you to them?
Would I argue with you? No please.
The good thing is, this is only a phase and they will outgrow it.
