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<p>This is a ; sensitive post please!!! It is a long post too. Please, grab a cup of your favourite drink and chill.</p>



<p>Are you aware that a child can freely touch any part of their body?</p>



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<p>So, why would they touch their head or hand or nose you do nothing BUT when they touch their genitals your spank them?</p>



<p>Ok. Let&#8217;s start properly. Some weeks ago I read a post in a group regarding a parent concerned about her 6yrs old behaviour.</p>



<p>It happened that she noticed that from age 2 and half her girl would touch her genital but she tends to do it often now and mainly when she is asleep. She had spanked her a lot and got tired of spanking and needed advice.</p>



<p><br>Most (98%) of the advice were:<br>She is possessed<br>It is evil spirit<br>Send her to your pastor<br>She needs to see man of God<br>She needs to be circumcised<br>She has an infection</p>



<p><br />I read those comments and was furious. Below was my response:</p>



<p>&#8220;Sorry to hear about this disturbing behaviour in your little one.</p>



<p>Let&#8217;s discuss this.</p>



<p>ïChildren being aware of their genitals is not abnormal.</p>



<p>Touching herself is normal for her age.</p>



<p>However it is the consistency of the act that matters. ;</p>



<p>Kids explores a lot. For some, once ; they are aware, they will keep indulging till you talk them off it. It is a phase.</p>



<p>Instead of hitting her bum and telling her to stop, try having a chat with her.</p>



<p>Ask her why she does it?</p>



<p>How she feels?</p>



<p>Tell her why you want her to stop it.</p>



<p>If you haven&#8217;t had a chat with her regarding her private part, then this is the time too.</p>



<p>It is private. No one should touch it.</p>



<p>Please, kids exploring their private part is common.</p>



<p>It is part of their psychosocial development.</p>



<p>ïI will like you to read about Freud&#8217;s 5 stages of development.</p>



<p>It discusses this in details. Whilst the theory isn&#8217;t scientifically proven it gives you an idea of what goes on as a child develops.</p>



<p>ïThere is nothing spiritually wrong with your child.</p>



<p>ïDo not touch or do anything to her clitoris.</p>



<p>Do make sure you monitor what she watches, simply to ensure she does not watch porn related contents.</p>



<p>Make sure no form of abuse is going on.</p>



<p>While washing pay attention.</p>



<p>Otherwise, this is a phase that you need to address.</p>



<p>ïThe act is not the problem, it is the frequency or habit that you mentioned.</p>



<p>Talk to her.</p>



<p>This is not about beating.</p>



<p>She will definitely stop.</p>



<p>You can reach out to me.&#8221;<br />.<br />.<br />Why I&#8217;m I making you aware of this?</p>



<p>I want you to treat kids as innocent creatures they are.</p>



<p>Do not judge them with adult dirty minds.</p>



<p>If they touch a part and feel pleasure or soothing why won&#8217;t they indulge in it?</p>



<p>Kids suck thumbs, suck tongues and more to self soothe.</p>



<p>As an adult, start as early as you can to teach kids about their genitals.</p>



<p>Engage them in conversation. Let them know it is a private part. They shouldn&#8217;t play with it and no one else should touch it.</p>



<p>Act just like you would to any habit you do not want them to get used to.</p>



<p>Keep practicing for as long as you can till they are grown enough to understand.</p>



<p>They learn quickly. Try it.</p>



<p>So long as you keep talking and explaining to them, they will listen to you.</p>



<p>You might end up begging them to open up during bath times because they are practicing what you taught them.<br /><br />I was surprised to know the number of people giving the same advise.</p>



<p>Different people liked my comments. I then saw a few comments from people that had same views.</p>



<p>Please, put your phone and data to good use.</p>



<p>For health issues, seek health information on recognised health websites. Not just Google. Any body can post any thing online, it doesn&#8217;t mean they are right as the information is not from an expert.</p>



<p>If you live in advanced country, the health or information helpline and sites are there. What I normally advise anyone in the under developed/developing countries is to have a doctor or registered nurse &#8216;s contact.</p>



<p>Know when to reach out to them for health or kids related advice.</p>



<p>Just so you know, I am a critical care nurse. During the course of my training and till now, I have learnt a whole lot. I studied midwifery too, so I know about kids.</p>



<p>Please read the psychosexual stages of development by Freud. It will help you understand your kids better.</p>



<p><br />Before you spank a child, have you tried talking to them why you think they shouldn&#8217;t carrying out a specific act you dislike?</p>



<p><br />Please, ;do not intentionally or ignorantly harm a child you should be guiding.</p>



<p>Your role is to guide them, protect them and teach them.</p>



<p>Do not expose them to unnecessary torture or strangers in the name of deliverance.</p>



<p>Do not cause problems for them.</p>



<p>It is ok not to know much about kids BUT know the right people and places to seek help.</p>



<p>No doubt parenting can be hard. No one knew it all prior having kids. Simply be open to learn and understand these little creatures better.</p>



<p>They are innocent (sorry I want to stress this part).</p>



<p>Endeavour to guide them right.<br /><br />Let&#8217;s say you are wondering, ; &#8220;Oh but my child never touched their private part&#8230;&#8221;</p>



<p>They all did and would do. Do you know why?</p>



<p>It is part of their psychosexual development. It is possible the times they had explored it only the person closer to them noticed.</p>



<p>So how close are you to them?</p>



<p>Would I argue with you? No please.<br /><br />The good thing is, this is only a phase and they will outgrow it.</p>



<p><br />I hope I have been able to pass on a message.</p>



<p>Thanks for making it hereð</p>



<p>If you like this post, please like, comment, share and <a href="https://www.viviensvoice.com/">subscribe to my blog</a>.</p>



<p>Let&#8217;s grow together </p>



<p>Viviensvoice</p>



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Sensitive post alert!
