Year: 2013

Ladies And Gents: What Do You Have To Say?

Last Updated on 22/08/2013 by Vivien Ayinotu

The other I had a conversation which I found surprising very interesting with an elderly in his late sixties or thereabouts. Never mind, I am not so good in guessing age right but at least you can imagine what he looks like.

Anyway, he is a relative as well but that type that the family tie seems to be so elongated. Yes that type. We discussed varied ranges of topics and I was overwhelmed by how he seem to have a more intense view of almost everything. Old age indeed comes with wisdom. There were certain topics we seem to have strong different views on and on my own little part I would want to let him know my opinions and justify them as well while in some I simply suck in to his ideas.
However, when we got to marriage and polygamy in our modern society, it became a-no-win-no-loss game. I was of the opinion should be between a man and a wife no matter what the circumstances are. My biblical backups and the rest of them were not far fetched. And being something I so much believe in I was saying as much as I could to solidify my views.
He said he knows all those things am rattling and many more I was going to say. Hehehe! 
Listen attentively to what I am going to tell you, he said. 
I adjusted my sitting position and leaned forward. It was obvious that its going to be a long talk. He started by telling me a story about how their grandparents lived and how things happened those olden days. In his terms ” good olden days”.  He said marriage was highly rated and very scared especially amongst women, that they all try as much as they could to make their marriages the best.
He mentioned that polygamy made women to be very competitive in their marital homes as they always thrive to furnish their husbands with the best dishes. He actually made me understand that these women do have a particular day to feed and sleep with their husbands and usually makes the best of it. 
All these make the family to be in harmony and the man feels loved by all his wives and treats them according.he discussed this bit very well explaining how those women seek the attention of their husband. There was so much passion in his voice like he was actually there or would have preferred to live in that generation.
 
To him, marriages between man and one woman cause more problems and high rates of divorce which was not the case in the days of our forefathers. It only makes women feel empowered which they usually abuse and consequently treat their husband with a much less respect and it is not meant to be so. Children were taught how to respect their  elders, house chores and how to become good members of the society right from home. He made it sound like polygamous family are the best for acquisition of all kinds of informal education. 
He equally added that most couples in nowadays marriages are unhappy. 
Haven’t I heard enough? In as much as I know what I believe in and would stand by it, there were certain things that he said that really caught my attention and also made sense. Interesting how an idea  can be perceived in absolute contrasting ways. 
Well, am glad to have come in this present time. Can I know your views please?

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Close Your Windows While Out

Last Updated on 09/08/2013 by Vivien Ayinotu

Last week, as I arrived at the Church about 15minutes before 12noon mass time, I met a group of people discussing what has happened few hours ago. A friend said to me, ‘Vivien can imagine that Fr was robbed during the 10am mass?’

I was surprised to hear that. To think of it,  I do hear of such acts in distant countries or other places but for it to happen in my own church sent me chills.  They said that the burglar made away with his laptop, phone, money and other things.

 A volunteer who usually sits close to the entrance door to help people out said that during communion time she saw a very strange face coming out from the other side of the building ( the section that leads to the basement and to the Priests flat ) with black bags in his two hands and made his way to the exit. She regretted not stopping or at least querying him. Other people were equally drawn into the discussion as they all were much concerned for the poor Priest.

Nevertheless, we all had to stop to attend to what we came for. The sermon was so lovely. One of his stories was about Doves. He told us about the absolute fidelity of Doves and how they end-up mating a single male partner throughout their lifetime. I found that really interesting. In fact, doves are my favorite birds for other genuine reasons and now I have a beautiful addition to that.

During announcement, he then told us how his apartment was ransacked by a burglar whom he said must have gained entrance through his open window. At this point, he stopped and advised against leaving our windows open when we are out. He mentioned some items that were stolen but what seem to trouble him so much was his laptop and backup. According to him, he has lost his 35years work. Amongst them were lots of vital information; in regards to his school years, Priest works, personal reflections, all his pictures and so on.

As usual, he had to stand for a while to say hello to parishioners after church, it was then that he said that while he was exchanging greetings with people after the 10am mass he saw someone standing in the front of his door with bags but it did not occur to him that he could do anything at that time. He could simply tell that there was something fishy about that person whom he said was not any of his parishioners.

To think that someone would deem invading a Priest’s apartment while he is in the Church preaching and within the same building is highly unbelievable.

Where is our conscience?


Nature is powerful.

Last Updated on 30/12/2017 by Vivien Ayinotu

It can be so lovely sitting outside and listening to nature. Sitting on a concrete bench at a corner outside my church made me realise that. I was waiting for a colleague who I was going to attend a function with. After some minutes of pressing my phone and virtually not doing any particular meaningful thing it occurred to me I can actually sit and be calm, probably do some meditation.

So, I went for it. The noises from whistling birds and that from a flowing water filled my ears, making me fully aware of the natural environment which I barely noticed some minutes earlier. It was a sunny day though  equally  windy moving the flowers and tree leaves form one direction to another.

It was so inspirational and meditative just siting and paying attention to all these than trying to do anything else. From where I sat, I could see passersby as well without them noticing my presence. Everything and everyone at that moment seemed so special and has a message to send across to me. Lots of wonderful ideas came into mind, showing me different sides to many issues especially in a more positive perspective. Some ideas that seemed so difficult to analyse or handle appeared so easy within seconds. It kind of made me see there is always an approach to everything and how little things we do for people could mean so much to them that they forever live with such memories.

Nature is beautiful and powerful. I guess we all need these kind of time to re-freshen our body and soul. It can also be a very good way of beating stress. I was pleased to have been some minutes early for my appointment which made this unique encounter and engaging discovery possible.

Laugh it off

Last Updated on 06/07/2013 by Vivien Ayinotu

I sat in the bus so tired when one of the passengers; a man who simply do not feel like sitting down could not just stop drawing attention to himself.

At first, he rattled a whole lot of words and I could not just hear a single thing he said though I cannot tell if I was the only one that was not able to understand him. He was shouting and no one bothered to stop him. He went on before he broke into a laughing session. It did not really appear funny but as he went on and changed his rhythm he began to make many people laugh and I smiled where I sat.

‘Can’t you all laugh or smile, at least’, he shouted. ‘It is not breaking the law and you ain’t gonna get charged for it.’ This time he said something I could hear clearly.

Another man sitting close to him began to chat with him and at a point asked him to sit down.

The weather is so hot. I can’t just sit down, was his response. ‘I am a spider man.’

It was then I noticed the way he crossed his shirt over his neck baring his chest. Its either he is simply high or something, unless the scorching sun actually brings the best-worst in him. He really made me laugh.
 
It was funny after all as he entertained us all. I guess he made some people laugh, probably those who might not have seen any reason to laugh lately.

Being Considerate.

Last Updated on 30/06/2013 by Vivien Ayinotu

We all need affection.

At times, we become so engrossed with our lives, be it with work, good times and so on that we actually forget that others could be having a hard time and need to be talked to considerately.

It is as if we assume that when we are all good and enjoying the beauty of life every other person is on the same page as us. However, this is not usually the case as sometimes, it takes turns.
No matter where we are, how and the position we see ourselves, it is very essential that we always know how to address and treat others. Even when you think you have lots of stories to tell or good news to share with them do try and be reasonable enough to know how they themselves are faring. 
Always be thoughtful in all you do and do try to make people feel functionally alive and happy when they are with you irrespective of the your situation. 

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Mistakes Could Mean Well.

Last Updated on 20/06/2013 by Vivien Ayinotu

See through them.

There are times we tend to question some of our actions, especially in those cases where things went terribly wrong in the  past. We begin to worry and blame ourselves, analysing an already gone situation.

We start to think about how best things would have been, if we had done either this or that. 
It usually feels so easy to sit and criticize all our previous acts. But, what we rarely remember was how that particular course of action was the only thing or idea that meant so much to us at that given time. And how we were desperate to get them done. 
Whenever we noticed we have made a mistake or did not succeed in a thing, it is important that we should only see it as a lesson and move on. The reason is because at a certain time it made sense to us and it now belongs to the past.
At least, it shows that we made an effort. Besides, mistakes can help us find that very answer or skill that we require. Our ability to strive and rectify a given situation is what matters the most. 
In addition, there are certain challenges that we only handle best when we must have seen the other side of it. 

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Life Struggles

Last Updated on 13/06/2013 by Vivien Ayinotu

Remain Positive.

As humans, most times we only desire to get things right.
We try out all we can
Hoping that we must get it right.

At times, it turns us to be so.
We become fulfilled
And see things as being oversimplified.  

But, it is not usually the case.
There are times our handwork do not pay.
What matters is that we do not relent.

It could be that so much is expected from us,
It could result from any eventuality,
It could be down to fate.

It is of our best interest to always be willing to try
And do not give up
Because, once there is life there is hope.

It is well.

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Your Family Needs You.

Last Updated on 08/06/2013 by Vivien Ayinotu

God’s Family.

The other day as I was about leaving the church, I ran into a woman who usually sit behind me with her family. As we exchanged greetings, she beckoned on me to wait for her which I did. There was a function that she wanted to get full details of it from the priest so, I stood by the corner and waited for her as there were others before her who have one or two issues to discuss with the priest as well.

When it got to hers, she inquired from him about the function. It was a function that only interested parishioners will be attending outside the parish. She told the priest that she would be attending with her kids but as she do not know much about it she did not have enough money with her to pay up immediately. It was the last Sunday to pay up but the Priest told her when she can come and make a late payment during the week. 
While they were finalising the issue, his son who has been waiting for her too walked up to her and she joyfully introduced him to the priest. As they already knew each other the Priest said that he was pleased to know that some youngsters would be attending the function too. But the boy bluntly said that he is not attending while his mother insisted that he must attend. The priest was surrounded by others and had to attend to them. 
This woman felt very bad about her son’s refusal to attend the function. She was more angered that he made his intentions clear before the priest. Instantly, she scolded him and asked him to make sure he gets home before her and clean up the whole house before her arrival.
She and her little girl joined me and we left. She complained bitterly about what her son just did, saying that it simply tells the priest and others present that she isn’t a good parent. She said that his son is a very humble and obedient child but she cannot figure out why he did that. 
She kept complaining and said it was the devil that entered into him and made him say that. At this point, I was beginning to get worried as I think she was talking it too far. To think of it, he only said he isn’t going and I do not see nothing wrong with that. Besides, being a fifteen-year old, boys about his age doesn’t usually attend such function and he might have considered it boring. 
Although I know that church functions are good for people of all ages, I do think this case should be this serious. But I did not say anything in particular to her so that she do not think it is the devil that entered into me too and must have made say so. 
She said that he must attend it whether he likes it or not. 
On that very day, I met her again at the function but she was only with her little daughter. I asked after her family and she seem not pleased with them. She said that her husband said he was not going to come and needed a companion at home,which is their son, whom she already had told that he must come with her.
She complained about having wanted all to come along and how her husband said he is not interested. To her, this is quite unusual, her family usually pray together but now her husband don’t join them anymore and says that he do say his on the bed whereas she cannot tell whether he actually does. Once he is on the bed he sleeps off the next minute.

And they all worried her. 

I began to understand her better being that her reaction was based on the fact that they usually do all these things together as one lovely family. It made me wonder if there were other things wrong because with her complaints I just did not see her happy.
I encouraged her not to give up on them but pray for them as she is fully aware of the benefits of making God the head of ones home. I urged her to always approach them nicely especially in regards to their spiritual life. They can even play or make jokes about them. I tried to make her understand that when she talk her son nicely into such functions it would be more successful for her and very beneficial to him than forcing him, which could yield a different result.

She seem pleased with what I have told her and said that she is trying. We then concentrated on what we came for.

In my opinion, when his son attends these functions in good faith he would be actively involved and can do more on his own but when he is always compelled to do so, he might only comply but when he gains his freedom would never partake in such events. Then, what would be the essence?

Finally, I hope we all see the essence of worshiping God in our lives and various families. And to all those having difficulties in their families, the Lord is your strength. If you think you are the only one concerned while others have do not care, keep faith. God will see you through.


My Oxford Trip.

Last Updated on 13/12/2017 by Vivien Ayinotu

Actually, it was on a Church pilgrimage. When I first heard the announcement I thought of it as going to  be an interesting one, so I took the news letter home to read more of it.

Then, I got myself ready for the day.

On getting to the Church, an almost new Bharat Coach was there with few people, some where inside while some hanging around.  When I got inside I saw few bags on the seats and asked the female driver if I can leave mine too and she agreed. She said our things were safe being that she is not leaving the vehicle.

So, I chose  a section near the window and dropped my handbag. Being that we were told that the day would start with mass which was optional, I decided to attend the mass as well. Church time was 9am while departure time  was 9.30am.

Our day began with mass and towards the end lots of people seem to be around. On getting to the outside,  there was such a huge crowd, youths, parents and their kids, even the elderly too. I was wondering what prompted this sort of crowd and a handful of strange faces before I was then made to understand that we are about three Churches; St Thomas More Catholic Church( my parish), St. John’s Anglican and a Methodist church. Interesting!

Within few minutes, another Coach arrived from either of the other two churches carrying few persons and with enough space there, we all sat comfortably in our seats. There were few empty seats remaining anyway.

I went to check my bag and decided that I might as well remain there till we leave. Our priest briefly told us that he has been very stressed lately and still have a tight schedule and would not be going with us. However, we went in the company of an Anglican Priest and our Nuns, Mother Eugenia and her two other colleagues.

The priest briefly told us how our trip would look like by listing the events of the day and saying a brief prayer with us. He did same for the other bus and we started hitting the roads. A woman sitting in front of me and a family at my back were from St John.  By my side was a family from my parish.

We had little chats as we drove ,especially, with the woman sitting before me. She has a camera with her and seem to be very excited about the trip and was delighted she was going to Oxford city.

She was snapping basically everything, the lovely views we had from the window, be it birds picking food or grazing animals, even plants and the rest of them. At a point I joined  her, capturing the ones I love the most. They were all lovely.

 

 so green.

On one occasion, it was as if our Couch almost hit a car, we got tensed and only found out that it was not our driver’s fault rather that of the driver before us. In addition to that, it happened on a hilly road. Some  people were like she ought to be careful no mater what. We kept going and it happened again but this time, I saw it. It was a driver whom I can simply tell what was wrong with him, he kept changing lanes on the highway.

Now, most of us were on the watch-out, our driver made sure that very car does not cross us again. Whenever we noticed that that car is coming close we would all shout ‘it’s coming again , don’t let him come before us’. The small car driver noticed what we were doing and started laughing with his passenger.
It turned out to be fun.  No one blamed our driver again and we were all vigilant till we went our separate ways.

In Oxford, we first visited St. Mary’s (University Church). It is a magnificent church with many historical displays. We were told that it was initially built by Catholics but now belongs to the Church of England.

 
Upstairs

We gathered and said prayers for the unity of Christians and at the memorial to the Reformation Martyrs. I was pleased on how we all came together as one and prayed for the good of another. We  had to look around the entire vicinity.

What I loved most was the paintings and decorations in this church. All images looks beautiful and archaic as if they are going to last forever.

Next, it was time for a tour to Merton College. This was done in batches being that they do not like overcrowding as they seem to have so much rules there. I was among the second batch and had enough time to look around until it got my turn.

Luckily, I enjoyed the company of elderly women who could not stop amusing me. They were both from my church so we got on well. With their new friends I was really entertained. The eldest one would go to another table to chat while the other one would be monitoring her. At a time she said to me ‘If I go out now for a minute to get something she would tell everyone that I had abandoned her’. I was laughing all through.

The eldest one later returned with a muffin in her hand. She showed her colleague and said ‘look at what my new friend gave to me’. Her response was ‘ Don’t tell me you left your tea and toast to go and beg for muffin?
‘I didn’t beg she just gave it to me and I collected. I can’t see anything wrong with that.’  She turned towards me and enjoyed her muffin like it was a special delicacy compared to what we have on the table.

Hahahaha!

We were supposed to go for the tour together but she said the walk would be too much for her which meant that none of them would be going again. I admired the way they look out for each other.

Eventually, it was our turn and the Priest took us down to the college. On arrival a Priest welcomed us and handed over a leaflet to us. He told us some brief history about Oxford University with preference to the college we visited.

He said Merton College was founded in the year 1264 by Walter de Merton, who had passion for education and believed that student should study, live, play and pray together. This was how they built the college and a huge chapel was equally erected where student say their prayers.

 

Merton college

 

Someone is in the compound.

In the Chapel were historical icons. According to the priest the image below is that of Henry Savile who translated Luke and Acts of the Apostles in the Kings James Version bible.

Henry Savile

On the outside, we were shown the library, which was said to be the oldest functional library in the Western world. In the sense that, other old libraries exist but are rather moved to other places. It is the home of Oxford dictionary. Also, books cannot be taken out.Thomas Bodley was one of the great scholars that passed through Merton college. He was buried in the Chapel.

I was made to understand that the University is for the Brainy and the Rich .  The time we went was their exam period and we saw  their students with their various dress and colour codes for exams. It was really interesting. this implies that by the colour of the ribbons on their shirts one could tell their levels.

We were told that those that have shiny hats and garlands with bottles of wine has just completed their final exams.

I took no pictures of the students but the woman that sat before me in the Couch stopped some of them and took some pictures.

It was now time to ransack Oxford City. This time, I was with a much younger woman. We had lunch and  began with window shopping which enabled us see a whole lot things before picking some. She seem to know much about the area. Funny enough most shops were very expensive with some awful dresses.

In the evening, it was the time for evensong at Christ Church Cathedral, the choir sang angelically. They sang Abide with me and other songs.

Finally, we made our way to the Coach,  checked that we are all complete and headed back to London.  It was a smooth drive and people were discussing various places they went to. We all had unique and fun experiences.

More Effort All The Time.

Last Updated on 21/05/2013 by Vivien Ayinotu

In certain cases, it is down to luck that we excel. However, generally speaking, it is the amount of effort that we put in that actually determines how far we go.

For some people, it could take little time while for some it requires lots of hard work and more time but at the end we all get there. 
That brings me to the main topic. How do we ensure that the passion we have for a particular idea or an issue at the beginning keeps burning? It is very important that we always bear this in mind because we still need this very passion to remain successful at all time.
But this is not always  the case. Most times, we simply forget what it took us to attain a certain height in life and thereby easily let ourselves get carried away. Consequently, we fumble  and may be worst than how we were  before we ever got started. 
This is not only applicable to our studies or at workplace but can be seen in all areas of life. For instance, in relationships / marriages, always remind yourself of what it took you and meant to you to get to where you are and ensure you have that in mind to make you stronger and more productive, otherwise, you might simply feel so relaxed and unknowingly to you, you  might have deviated so much from the person you used to be.
In workplace/ school, it is equally essential because nobody knows it all and there are numerous innovations on daily basis, so do not relent. If you found yourself on top, always challenge yourself. 
It is applicable in our spiritual life and make us do things we could not have imagine. 
No condition needs to be stagnant as humans we easily feel bored and are quite insatiable.  Always challenge yourself by trying to be and remain on top. 
Always remember that the Rich (be it politicians, athletes, entertainers, movie stars e.t.c.) still struggle to remain on top otherwise it would have been when you make it once in life you back out but it is not the case. The struggle continues.

I once came across a write-up that says  ‘Always do the best you can while alive because you would have a longer time to sleep when you are dead’. That does not mean we do not have to enjoy our lives but it is a sort of reminder.  Besides, our motivations play an important role in how we handle situations.

Most people believe that attaining a greater height in life is very difficult and challenging while others think that the hardest part is to remain successful.

All the best in all you do.